INSIGHTS
How Can I Improve My Love Relationship in 2020?
New Year’s Tips To Reboot Your Romantic Relationship New Year’s is just around the corner and it’s time to think about the resolutions and changes you would like to make in your romantic relationships so that they are stronger and more secure than ever. According to...
Should you consider counseling with Dr. Deb Hecker?
MAYBE YES, MAYBE NO. In my experience, consulting with clients who are considering whether or not to pursue counseling with me to improve their lives, the path to this decision is as varied as the people who travel down it. Could be they would like their relationships...
Radical Acts of Kindness
Tis’ the season to get into the holiday spirit. Sadly, this can also be a stressful time of year, figuring out the perfect gift to buy your partner and worrying about spending money. However, kindness toward your partner requires very little time, money or hard work -...
Answer these 5 questions after your break-up and you’ll heal faster
The failure of a relationship closes one chapter of your life and starts a new one
Are you really as empathic with your partner as you think you are?
“Why can’t he just listen and try to understand my feelings / experience rather than telling me to stick to the “facts”?” “When we get into an argument, why does she always act like she’s being attacked?” I’ve seen the long-term effects of couples who really want to...
Is your romantic relationship running you ragged?
More than you might think. There are no easy solutions or magic pills that will guarantee victory for either. Both involve a substantial commitment of time and effort. Neither is an impossible feat designed for special people. They are for people like YOU, who want...
Have you hit a wall in your relationship?
Have you ever felt like your relationship was at a standstill? Like you and your partner have hit a wall and keep repeating the same flawed relationship patterns, and can’t seem to move forward? You want to keep going but you don’t know how to get unstuck? This is a...
Should You Ever Lie To Your Partner?
When I was a little girl, my Dad, - a very wise man who was passionate about justice - told me that I should always look people in the eyes and tell them the truth. I imagine many of you have been told the same. Relationships should be based on honesty. By being...
How To Transform Conflict Into Closeness
Recently, in between one of our weekly meetings, a high-conflict couple I am working with emailed me several pages of intense communications they had with one another. Ostensibly, this was to highlight how they slid back into their typical primitive, reptile-like...
Why Is It So Hard To Let Go Of Your Ex?
Attachment is part of the human condition. When you were happily attached to your partner, you felt secure. Unfortunately, you may not have learned how to let go in the same way you learned to attach. So, when loss happens, you may not know how to deal with it. Why is...
Sabotaging Your Romantic Relationships
It’s Not Me, It’s You – Or is it? We all do it. We think our relationships have problems because our partner needs to do something differently. “She’s so self-centered. I never feel understood.” “My husband is so inflexible and will rarely change his opinions. Did...
Is Divorce harder for the person leaving (The Dumper) or for the one being left (The Dumpee)?
In most divorce situations, one person wants out of the marriage while the other doesn’t. Even in cases where a couple mutually agrees to a divorce, there is usually one person wants to hold on to the marriage more than the other one does. Is it more difficult for...