FINDING ANSWERS IN FURRY PLACES

Most days, I feel like I’ve seen and heard all there is to know when it comes to relationships. I have been a therapist for decades, after all.  Then there are days that completely turn me around and remind me there’s still room for awe and surprise. One of my female...

What Goes Around Comes Around: The Ripple Effect of Generosity

The critical role of generosity in personal and professional success It turns out humans are wired to be kind and giving to each other. Generosity as a practice may be cultivated everyday. The word generous isn’t the first word that comes to mind when someone talks...

RECOGNIZING DYSFUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIPS AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

Today’s Advice Highlights How does a relationship become dysfunctional? What are the common red flags to watch out for? Is calling it quits the best course of action to recover from a toxic relationship? When we start a new relationship, we put most of our attention...
HOLDING SPACE FOR EACH OTHER WHEN YOU’RE BOTH HURTING

HOLDING SPACE FOR EACH OTHER WHEN YOU’RE BOTH HURTING

In a recent session, one of my patients said something that many of us, not just therapists, have heard many times: “We love each other, but…” It’s not hard to imagine the statements that follow the “but.” In my patient’s case they were: We can’t help poking each...

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ROLLING OUT THE DEAR DR. DEB ADVICE COLUMN

ROLLING OUT THE DEAR DR. DEB ADVICE COLUMN

Dear Dr. Deb. As a psychoanalyst and psychotherapist specializing in interpersonal relationships, it makes sense that people who are struggling would seek out my professional services – especially when they are hurting.  Through my decades of experience, I’ve...

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Self Reflection in Relationships

Self Reflection in Relationships

Introduction Most people are inclined to believe that their relationships fail or have problems because they didn’t choose the right partner or because their partner is the source of the stress. It can feel so much better to look for accountability outside of yourself...

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Depression during the holiday season

Depression during the holiday season

Though the holidays are thought of as a time of sharing, family, and celebration, for many they are emotionally exhausting. If you feel knocked down by sadness during this holiday season, you’re not alone. Between polarized politics and the continuing global...

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Why Romantic Relationships Are SO Complicated

Why Romantic Relationships Are SO Complicated

  When I was young, I thought of romantic relationships as very simple - you either love him / her or you don’t. The truth is that human beings are complex and life is sometimes crazy, and that combination can make romantic relationships tricky, perplexing, and...

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Is It Ever Okay To Lie In A Relationship?

Is It Ever Okay To Lie In A Relationship?

Introduction All of us remember the story of Pinocchio and the role honesty played in his life. In order for Pinocchio, a marionette, to become the real boy he longed to be, first he had to prove that he had true values. However, the blue fairy warned him about lying,...

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