According to a recent article in the New York Times, January has been unofficially dubbed “divorce month.”
While this may not be the most cheerful way to ring in the new year, the fact is that many struggling couples are prompted to consider divorce/breakup as part of the self-evaluation process that goes along with putting their personal lives in order.
I am instantly reminded of Neil Sedaka’s 1970’s hit Breakin’ Up Is Hard To Do:
I beg of you don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our love another try?
Come on, baby, let’s start anew
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do
Breaking up with someone you love is never easy.
But that doesn’t mean there aren’t things you can do to make it easier on both of you.
If you or someone you know is navigating their way through a separation or divorce, consider the following:
- Be certain you are breaking up for the right reason: Evaluate whether your decision is more than just an emotional one. Ask yourself – “Is there a way we can work this out?”
- Prepare for the possibility that you or your partner might be too hurt to initially stay friends: Letting go is an emotional process that takes time.
- Be honest, but not overly harsh: Everyone deserves the truth. Eliminating the mystery will help both of you to move on. Be clear about your reasons.
- Be wary of the break up / make up cycle: If you have made up your mind, don’t change your decision, even if your partner tries to convince you ‘one more time.’
- Protect one another’s self esteem: Stay away from insults.
- Take time for your SELF: Redefine who you are as a single person.
For those of you who are feeling emotionally drained by a separation / divorce and unsure about who you are, my book Who Am I Without My Partner? Post-Divorce Healing And Rediscovering Your SELF will offer you insights and advice that are certain to impact you positively.
It is my sincere hope that all information on my website provides you with content that inspires you to enhance your relationships. These materials are not intended to be a substitute for my counseling services. If you are ready to make that leap, please click here to set up a complimentary consultation.